Cheesus Was Here by J. C. Davis

Author:J. C. Davis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sky Pony Press
Published: 2017-04-09T04:00:00+00:00

That afternoon, things take a bizarre turn in history class. When Mr. Rayburn walks in, he’s cradling his right hand against his chest like it’s been scalded. He ignores our curious stares and points at the whiteboard with his left hand, to a quote filling the top half: The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead.

“To whom is this quote attributed?” Mr. Rayburn asks.

No one answers. He waits, eyes moving over us. When it’s obvious no one is going to volunteer an answer, he sighs. “If you had done last night’s reading assignment, every single one of you would have the answer.”

Wayne’s hand shoots into the air and Mr. Rayburn frowns. Wayne never raises his hand.

“Mr. Hissep?”

“What’s wrong with your hand?” Wayne asks.

There’s a low snicker from the other jocks in the room.

Mr. Rayburn glowers and tucks his hand closer against his chest. “While that is none of your business, it’s clear none of you are going to focus on our lesson while you’re busy gawking at my hand.” He raises his right hand, like he’s saluting, slides his cuff up his arm several inches, and then waits expectantly.

The room is as quiet as when he first walked in. I don’t see anything wrong with his arm. My classmates look just as confused.

Mr. Rayburn huffs out an exasperated breath and points at a large mole on his wrist. “This morning I discovered this mole. It’s shaped like a cross. I’ve been touched by God.”

You’ve got to be kidding me. Mr. Rayburn is covered in so many moles and brown spots he looks like an off-color Dalmatian. How would he even notice a new one? And a cross-shaped mole? Gross. But it’s clear Mr. Rayburn thinks something divine has happened because he’s proudly waving his arm around and beaming at the class.

“I don’t want anyone to be distracted by this latest miracle, however, so let’s please try to focus on the lesson.”

The jocks are snickering again, and I have to agree with them. But, while this definitely qualifies as weird, Mr. Rayburn isn’t the first person in town claiming a so-called personal miracle. They’ve been cropping up everywhere.

Two days ago Kit Spencer, the librarian, said she saw an image of the Holy Ghost in her bathroom mirror after her evening shower. Naturally by the time she’d grabbed her camera it had already faded. But she swears it was there. That same day, Andrew Carol, our quarterback, found a four-leaf clover on the practice field. I’m willing to admit there may be a miracle in there somewhere because I wasn’t aware Andrew could count that high. Yesterday morning, no less than three freshman girls all said that God spoke to them while they were in the girls’ bathroom. Of course, they also admitted he told them panties were optional clothing so I’m betting on a prank rather than any sort of divine fashion tips. Miraculous recoveries? Please. Half the town is claiming one of those—from cured colds to mysteriously disappearing allergies.

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